I can’t believe you’re gone, Robin. I had no idea that you were in that much pain. Surely, no one knew you were in that much pain. Damn, I turned to you whenever I needed a laugh or an emotional lift because you were so good at bringing laughter and joy to everyone around you. Just last week, I turned to you for a laugh, and it took only a few seconds to accomplish the goal. You were that good. I wish somehow I or someone could have done the same for you.
The first time we met, I knew immediately we would be close. For me, you were a natural at reaching out to a person. I know when I was sad, or down, you would instantly bring me back to a place that was tolerable if not bliss. Hell, you were so good that the troops overseas enjoyed having you; not only because you made them laugh, but because you truly cared. Just another reason I loved you so.
You were so good you crushed it in movies, too. There wasn’t a movie you did that I didn’t love. Of course, there are the popular ones such as Good Morning Vietnam, Mrs. Doubtfire, Patch Adams, Dead Poets Society, etc., but one of my favorites is a film that flew under the radar, Jakob the Liar. Of course the critics panned it, but you were spectacular as always, and made the message of the film clear as day. However, your performance in Good Will Hunting will never be forgotten. By far my favorite film, you reached deeply into a part of my heart that I never allow anyone to discover. That movie will always best represent your talent as an actor, but most importantly a human being.
I remember the time I traveled to Las Vegas to see you. You were commencing your world tour and opening at Caesar’s Palace. I had close to front row seats, and from the minute you stepped on stage, you had everyone in the crowd crying with laughter. Before you started your act, you had fun with the gentlemen that walked to their seats with a hired escort in tow. You were spot on that night. Your 90 minute show flew by and I left wanting more. That night you confirmed that you were the best in the business. No one could come close to your talent or intellect.
Now you are gone. I feel empty. I truly feel like I lost a best friend. I also feel guilty because I will never be able to repay you with the correct amount of gratitude for all you have done for me and the citizens of planet Earth. If we only knew the pain you must have been feeling to take your own life. I know you loved your family very much, and I also knew that you battled the demons of addiction, too. You shared often that you entered rehab to battle those demons, and honestly, we thought you were winning the fight. Sure, there were times you lost ground and had to return to seek assistance, but you were human and allowed to ask for help even though you seemed super-human to most. Why you would decide that the only course of action to finally defeat the demons was to take your own life I hope I will never understand.
Goodbye, my friend. I hope God takes you in and provides the comfort that you clearly sought. I will never understand, but will eventually accept it. You will be sorely missed.
“You don’t know about real loss, because it only occurs when you’ve loved something more than you love yourself.”